So have you ever felt that feeling where you feel like you haven’t given enough? You didn’t give enough thought or time, or anything else can make life change. Currently, that feeling is flowing throughout my body- from the tip of my toes to the hairline on my head.

And so how did this come about? It came out thanks to my boyfriend who has been my backbone in a dilemma. With my boyfriend and I, we’ve been in a relationship for four years (going on five now) and everything has been wonderful. We make each others lives seem like a fairy tale: we were the high school sweethearts and the friends who began to recognize love within one another. I couldn’t ask for a better man than this one. Both my heart and mind scream:

                                                   “HE’S THE ONE!”

It’s great being with him. Due to the fact that he’s a good boyfriend overall, he gives me a lot of things (such as childhood items, jewelry, make-up, art pieces he made for or of me, memories, laughs, smiles, ect). And because he does all of this, it makes me wonder: how can I ever be equal with him?

He makes me smile to the point where it hurts, he picks me up and puts me back on my feet when I have fallen. He dries my tears with the edge of his thumb as well as hush my cries of sadness. One man can make such a difference in a woman’s life (doesn’t really have to be a man and a woman, it could go different ways). But if our feelings of love were put on a balancing scale, would it be equal? In my eyes no.

It feels like I’ve given him too little. I never gave him any of my childhood items- only a small picture of myself when I was six years old. It kills me when I’m not able to shield him when he needs me. I wish I had the ability to pick him up and put him back on his feet. Though all I can do is pat him on the back and say, “I’m proud that you’re doing something you want to do, and not for me but for yourself”.

Am I giving him too little or too much? Am I making my dream relationship come true? Are our amounts of love equal? The world may never know.